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Hey author - thanks for the response and no problem. Happy to hear my notes have helped. Sorry to hear that you're considering scrapping it. I totally get how writing such a story can be very time-consuming, especially because I also write and I'm slow AF lol. 

Of course, as a reader, I'd love to see you keep at it. Even if you need to go on hiatus for a while, or do much smaller updates, I definitely think it's a project worth continuing. Even if you have to relaunch the project a few years from now, it'd be great if you didn't scrap it entirely. 

Either way, wishing ya the best. Good luck with whatever you decide on. 

Writing to agree with the comment below me. I've simply never enjoyed an IF that has too limited of a set of ROs for my protag. One more female RO, even just as a gender-selectable character, would be fantastic. It's your story ofc but I wanted to comment just to lyk that there is interest there.

Wishing ya the best, author!

Hello! I read a fair chunk of your story. I understand it's a WIP, but I wrote some notes. The document turned out quite long, as I had to quote some of the paragraphs where I was referencing specific text. Some of the notes are pointing out typos and program errors, while others are more general about the story. 

I put it all on pastebin and set the link to unlisted + exp in 6 months. Feel free to check it out here if you're interested: https://pastebin.com/L4Wf1i4K

It's your story so feel free to take them or leave them, of course. However, I figured maybe some of the notes I wrote could be helpful, and at least save some of your time finding typos. 

Have a nice day!

Hello! Really interesting story so far and I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops. I'm not sure if it's written this way, but practically every character is already interested in my protag lol.

One note - during the latter part of day 3, after I spoke with Vanessa who picked me, and after I spoke with Mattie the original partner, Amber came up to me. I'm tryna avoid spoilers on this page but she basically said I looked hot and all that. Afterwards, she left, saying it was a bad idea, and there was no option to continue to the next page of the story.

I'm not sure if it's because you just stopped writing there, but I wanted to report that there was no continue button just in case it was a bug. 

Anyway, that being said, my protag is currently spreading her attention between Amber, Mattie, Izzie, and Vanessa lol who are all competing for her. GREAT STUFF. I like that people are cool with things so long as you are open and honest. Gotta get to know these folks before ya commit, ya know? Mattie is v wholesome tho. 

Yeah the problem is that the way the author frames the story makes the main character's lack of progression seem nonsensical. This is accentuated by the fact that we are capped by numbers that seem like artificially placed limits. My character is swimming in EXP and money - why can I not buy trainers, or pills, or whatever to get to Tang Ruo's level? I can't even learn other abilities cause we are capped at only a few. Tang Ruo is the same stage yet is able to progress at hyper-speed while my MC is sitting around doing nothing and can't even track TR's movements. If my MC is at max point level, max traits, max abilities, etc. for the stage, then what is the difference between the two? Is the MC not at the highest possible power for that stage? Cause there's literally nothing the MC can take/do to get more points since it's capped. Just seems so forced. 

And narratively, the story allowed my MC to have a solid 1 arena battle, with no ability to sign up for more. Meanwhile TR was plowing through the arena like it was nothing. Like???

I just don't get it. The narrative is confused, truly. There is really no convincing narrative reason why our MC can't be doing more to at least be COMPETITIVE with TR, as opposed to sitting around while being left in the dust (the current state of things). 

There are 10 year olds playing games, instruments, etc. at the levels of masters in the REAL WORLD. But a martial god is somehow unable to remain competitive with the woman he beat day 1? Makes NO sense. This narrative simultaneously wants the MC to be a super powerful martial entity while also being weak AF. Balance has not been properly achieved. 

Oh hey! I know you! (Meaning, I read TMP lol). 

I don't normally read short stories but I'll keep this one on one of my watchlists. I just wanted to pop in and say that "Their Majesties' Pleasure" was a solid read so I'm sure this one is nice too. I wanted to drop some positive vibes in case anyone is looking out for comments before deciding whether to give it a read or not. 

I was actually one of the first TMP reviews on Steam and now I'm early again (coincidentally) to your latest work. Ha. Anyway, wishing you the best of luck.

Maybe I wasn't clear regarding the purpose of my comment. I was offering constructive feedback to the author, specifically, in case it might be useful. 

I already understand how the narrative tries to justify why things are written the way they are. I have read the story myself. You say, "I can try to address most of your issues" but you are not actually addressing any of the issues. You are just writing a defense of the story. 

Unfortunately, I didn't write this comment to start a debate with random users in the comment section. I wrote my comment for the author. The author can choose to accept or ignore my feedback. That's all I care about. I do not care whether commenters agree or disagree with my opinion - it is totally inconsequential to the development of the story, which is the only thing I actually do care about. 

I could go over my specific objections to your comment but I really don't want to write a 10 paragraph essay on why I feel parts of the narrative are weak, despite the ways the story tries to justify it all. If the author wants me to further explain my opinion, then I will be happy to do so, because that might directly impact the development of the story. But for anyone else, no, because it will be totally unproductive.

That's all I have to say. Feel free to think whatever you want about the story - everyone is entitled to their own opinion. 

Lots of potential to this story. I'm excited to see where it goes. But I'm gonna plop some thoughts down just to share my perspective. 

It would be nice if we were able to cultivate relationships with characters during the free roam. Like, even if it isn't going to "drive" the plot of the relationship forward, it would be nice to just get more exposure to what these characters are doing. ATM the free roam seems a bit empty. It'd also be nice if reading all the books in the library rewarded the player with something (beyond experience) - like a new talent or whatnot. Lore is cool but there are valuable points being spent on it, which feels like a waste. 

Another thing is that the prince/princess is always being worshipped by everyone, yet the protag, who is supposed to have this ultra divine blood, is, from a narrative perspective, sort of put into the second-place category. Ruo is accomplishing new feats all the time, and even when the protagonist accomplishes one thing it seems as if Ruo has accomplished double that. It kinda kills the vibe of the ultra-powerful protag story (which is, presumably, the reason why people pick the 4x exp gain). If the protag is supposed to be a legendary martial artist, why can't he compete with the prince/princess, at least in terms of pace-of-progression?

Like, if Ruo is beating people in the Arena, we should be beating people in the Arena. If Ruo is learning new talents super easily, we should be learning talents. I mean, even Tigress has a teacher but no one has even tried to contact us??? And we are stuck with only our family's skills, which the princess can apparently instantly learn anyway. Like??? Is our protag supposed to be strong or nah? 

I understand there are narrative reasons why the princess might be in a better place, but the narrative also seems to suggest that we should be able to catch up quicker due to our natural talent. Yet, it seems like we are not catching up quicker at all - but that we are actually falling behind. At least that's how it has been by the time I paused reading this (around when she fights Middle H dude in the Arena). 

Anyway, I was loving this game in the beginning but during what seems to be the mid-point it's turned into a slog where the story doesn't make us feel like we're progressing at all - that we are always behind in a world where people are far more powerful than us, despite us apparently being born with enormous potential. After all, our attributes are capped with points but apparently prince/princess Ruo's are not lol. I also don't understand that. Like, if we are at middle H level watching her fight, with maxed out stats, then how is she able to win a fight that we apparently could not? It's not as if she is late-stage H level, just early to mid level. 

Chapters 1-3 were quite strong but during chapter 4 the story just grinded to a major halt. Lots of time spent detailing locations we'll likely never see again, or random daily tasks that don't actually move the plot forward, yet no time spent detailing our first meeting with our own step mom!? Just a brief line about her having been nice to meet? That's so SAD. I was looking forward to our first meeting :(

Anyway, I can't get past the beginnings of Ch4. I'll wait until the story progresses and then slog my way through when I at least know that there will be lots more content to enjoy afterwards.

Good luck, author. Lots of potential to this story. Please consider making adjustments to Ch4 tho lol. 

It might be for a different reason. IDK. I'm just saying that such an error doesn't affect my own gameplay.

Just being real with you - it should be a total non-issue. I get the error all the time and it's never affected gameplay for me. I just close the box and ignore it. 

Thanks for the response!!

Hello author! Very nicely written story! I'm looking forward to what you have in store for the future.

That being said, I have one question. The question itself isn't spoiler-y but any answer might involve spoilers. I don't mind spoilers myself but I just figured I'd mention it for anyone else reading my comment. It's related to the ROs though and IDK how else to ask. It's a bit important for my own reading experience.

QUESTION:

There are various supernatural races in this game, with different lifespans. Do I need to be concerned about any differences in longevity between the protagonist and their RO? I'd prefer to avoid a situation where my protagonist ends up inevitably dying of old age and the partner moves on to some other romance afterwards. Maybe the story doesn't even plan on addressing that - but thinking realistically, it seems like a pretty important thing to consider, between two people. And honestly, if I knew the RO was just going to move on like that, as they live for hundreds more years or whatever, it'd ruin the whole story for me. I'm still traumatized (okay, I'm being a little dramatic) from Spice and Wolf. Please give me the hard-hitting truth now before I go through hours and hours of wholesome romance only for it to end in (what I consider to be) tragedy. 

I just greatly prefer romances where the characters stay together forever afterwards and there's no one else after that. So if lifespan considerations are relevant, it'll affect who I decide to romance. 

Thank you. 

Me when I play this game:

Sounds good. Thanks for the response!

Do you plan on making monogamous endings / multiple endings? Based on what I've played so far, it seems that's where you're headed - but you're also forced to date Abbie in order to progress the story (ch3->ch4), even if you don't actually want Missy to end up with her in the end. I'm getting conflicting vibes. Based on the lore, I'm assuming it might be a thing where you date multiple but only marry one in the end? 

Enjoyable game though! Definitely one of my faves on here, given the interactions with characters and branching story so far. Really feels like you've put some real thought into it and some depth. 

Side note, in the "more information" section for this game it has avg session time as "about a half-hour" but you may wanna update it to multiple hours. I think it's ~10h with all the content so far.

Good luck with the development!

Thanks for the response!

Will there be branching/multiple endings?

Is this still in development? Also, is it a branching story or nah?

Animations are almost never worth it anyway IMO. Definitely better to put the budget towards something more useful, like variety of content.